What would it mean to you to have “better sex” than you’re having now? What would you need to do differently?
How about having sex at least once or twice weekly? There are health benefits to having sex. It gives your heart and lungs a workout, gets blood moving in your capillaries, and releases hormones that help you bond with a partner, among other benefits. An orgasm can even relieve some types of pain for up to 24 hours.
Simply having more sex won’t be healthy if the sex is unsatisfying or worse. To have better sex0, consider these questions:
- What do you consider “having sex,” and does your partner define it the same way? You may consider it sex no matter what the outcome, while your partner may consider it sex only if orgasm occurs.
- Are you and your partner equally interested in and satisfied with your sexual experiences? If not, the partner who is unsatisfied is unlikely to want more of the same.
- Can you and your partner speak honestly about your sex life and health status? Sex is usually better when you can speak freely about your needs, wants, curiosities, and concerns.
- Does your typical sexual experience leave you thinking, “That was great” or “Is that all there is?” If it’s the latter, what is missing?
- Are you easily distracted during sexual activity? If so, are you unable to focus on the pleasure of the moment because you’re concerned about privacy, body image, discomfort, or are you bored, angry or worried?
- After sex, are you worried about pregnancy or sexually transmitted infection? Taking steps to protect yourself and your partner first can help you enjoy regret-free sex.
- Does your sex life include a lot of rules about how, when, where, and what occurs, and if so, are you and your partner in happy agreement with the rules?
Having better sex in 2010 depends on a lot more than resolving to have more sex. Instead, resolve to understand specifically what better sex means to you and how you can make it happen.
The partners of the New Jersey Center for Sexual Wellness can help enhance your sex life, whether the help you need is medical, psychological, educational or nutritional.